It is easy to get overwhelmed when you start planning your wedding. You open Instagram, and suddenly you are scrolling through hundreds of flawless images. The lighting is golden, the couple looks like professional models, and everything seems effortless. However, finding the perfect wedding photographer is crucial to capturing your special day.
If you are looking at those photos and thinking, “My partner and I don’t look like that,” or “I’m worried our wedding won’t be that perfect,” please take a deep breath.
There is a “quiet truth” in the wedding industry that not many people talk about: A pretty Instagram feed does not always mean your perfect wedding photographer can handle the stress of a real wedding day.
Here is what you need to know to look past the social media highlight reel and find someone you can actually trust.
The Difference Between “Styled Shoots” and Real Weddings
Many of the stunning images you see on social media come from what we call “styled shoots.” These are practice runs where photographers and vendors get together to create portfolio images.
While they are beautiful, they are very different from a real wedding day:
- The Models: The couple are often professional models who know exactly how to pose.
- The Time: The photographer has hours to get the perfect shot, waiting for the clouds to break or the wind to settle.
- The Control: If something doesn’t look right, they can stop and fix it because they have all the time in the world.
A photographer with a portfolio full of styled shoots has a great eye for detail, but it doesn’t tell you if they can handle the fast-paced reality of your big day.
Real Weddings Can Be Messy (and That’s Ok)
Your wedding day is not a photoshoot; it is a live event. Things happen fast, and they rarely go exactly according to the spreadsheet.
- Hair and makeup might run 45 minutes late, meaning we have to get those “relaxed” couple photos done in a 10-minute sprint.
- It might start raining sideways the moment you step outside, forcing us to scrap the original plan instantly.
- A well-meaning relative might jump into the aisle with their iPad right as you share your first kiss, blocking the “perfect” angle. (It will always be your aunt by the way….!).
This is where the difference between a “portfolio photographer” and a “trusted guide” becomes clear. You need someone who stays calm when the timeline collapses. You need someone who can pivot to Plan B without you ever knowing there was a problem, rather than someone who just takes pretty pictures of stationary objects.
How can you find the truth? You have to step away from the app.
Instagram is designed for fast scrolling and quick double-taps. But choosing a photographer requires you to slow down.
My honest advice. Close the Instagram app, go to their website, and really sit with their work. Don’t just scan the homepage for pretty colors; study the images.
- Look for the feeling: When you see a photo of a stranger crying during a speech, do you feel a lump in your throat? If you can feel the emotion in a stranger’s wedding, you can trust them with yours.
- Look at the expressions: Do the people in the photos look stiff and aware of the camera, or does it look like they are truly present in the moment?
- Look at the background: Ignore the couple for a second. Are the guests in the background laughing and engaged? That tells you the photographer knows how to move through a room without killing the vibe.
If you find yourself stopping to look at a photo because it feels “real,” rather than just because it looks “pretty,” you are on the right track.
Finding a Perfect Wedding Photographer You Feel Safe With
Finding a Photographer Who Gets You – It is easy to get caught up in Instagram and pricing, but there is a crucial element that often gets overlooked: how the photographer makes you feel. You want to enjoy your wedding, not stress over whether your photos are “Instagrammable.”
During your consultations, look for these signs:
- ** The Red Flags:** They talk endlessly about their gear, their awards, or how marvellously funny or great they are to be around. They make the meeting about them.
- The Green Flags: They ask about your vision. They listen to your insecurities. They treat you like people, not props.
My approach is grounded in the belief that you shouldn’t have to “perform” on your wedding day. My job isn’t to force you into poses that feel fake or stiff.
My goal is to help you feel so safe and present that you forget the camera is even there. That is when the magic happens. When you are genuinely relaxed, the photos are naturally stunning—no modelling classes necessary.
Let’s Chat
I hope this helps take some of the pressure off your search. You don’t need a picture-perfect life to have wonderful wedding photos; you just need a photographer who knows how to capture the real stuff.
It doesn’t matter if you hire me or not. I want you to feel confident choosing someone you get along with. If you have any questions about real weddings, feel free to send me a message. I’d be happy to help you figure it out.
